Mrs. Muffet and the Humongous Spider

MRS. MUFFET AND THE HUMONGOUS SPIDER

Picture taken 7-30-2000 by Michael Alexander at Golden Gardens Park in Seattle, Washington.

Jack was working at his computer in the living room when he heard a loud scream come from the kitchen. Jill ran into the living room carrying a broom.

Jill It's, It's, It's.

She could barely talk. The biggest spider the two of them had ever seen in their lives came running into the living room. The spider was as big as a cat. The spider ran straight towards Jill. They both screamed. Jill used her broom as a shield to stop the spider. She tried to sweep the spider away.

Jill Stay away from me! Go away, spider, go away.

The spider skittered back and forth, but Jill was able to block it with her broom.

Jill Kill it! Kill it!

Jack No, don't kill it. We might be able to sell it.

Jill Are you crazy? Who the heck would want to buy a giant spider?

Jack Let's find out. I'm at an auction site now.

Jack turned towards his computer and began typing.

Jill No, just kill it.

Jack Keep the spider away from me. I'm working.

The spider skittered back and forth and Jill used her broom to keep the spider away from the computer. Jack hit the enter key.

Jack Finished. The spider is for sale.

Jill Good. You take the broom.

Jill handed the broom to Jack and then she ran upstairs.

Jack Okay, big guy. Now we're going to find out what you're worth.

The spider ran back and forth and Jack used the broom to keep it away from the computer.

Jack No, no, no. I don't want any bugs in my computer. Especially big, humongous bugs like you.

Jill came down the stairs with a shotgun. She pointed the gun at the spider and the spider ran off into the corner to get away from her. The spider was shaking.

Jill I'm going to blow that bug to bits.

Jack NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Jack grabbed the shotgun and they both wrestled over the gun.

Jill Let go of the gun, you idiot.

The computer screen refreshed.

Jack We have an bid.

Jill How much?

Jack Let's see.

They sidled over to the computer screen to look.

Jill Wow, that's a lot of money, but who the heck would want to buy a giant spider?

DING DONG. The doorbell rang. Jill let go of the gun and answered the door. She should have looked through the peep hole first. She opened the door and saw the biggest spider she had ever seen in her life. It is even bigger than the other giant spider. This spider was as big as a car. Jill screamed and ran upstairs. Jack went to the door.

Jack Oh, hi. This must be yours.

The little giant spider ran across the living room and out the door into the arms of the big giant spider. The big giant spider handed some money to Jack.

Jack Thank you. Feel free to drop by any time.

Jill came down the stairs with an even bigger gun. The spiders left and Jill did not fire her gun.

THE END

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MRS. MUFFET AND THE HUMONGOUS SPIDER		Picture taken 7-30-2000 by Michael Alexander at Golden Gardens Park in Seattle, Washington.
	Jack was working at his computer in the living room when he heard a loud scream come from the kitchen. Jill ran into the living room carrying a broom.
Jill	It's, It's, It's.
	She could barely talk. The biggest spider the two of them had ever seen in their lives came running into the living room. The spider was as big as a cat. The spider ran straight towards Jill. They both screamed. Jill used her broom as a shield to stop the spider. She tried to sweep the spider away.
Jill	Stay away from me! Go away, spider, go away.
	The spider skittered back and forth, but Jill was able to block it with her broom.
Jill	Kill it! Kill it!
Jack	No, don't kill it. We might be able to sell it.
Jill	Are you crazy? Who the heck would want to buy a giant spider?
Jack	Let's find out. I'm at an auction site now.
	Jack turned towards his computer and began typing.
Jill	No, just kill it.
Jack	Keep the spider away from me. I'm working.
	The spider skittered back and forth and Jill used her broom to keep the spider away from the computer. Jack hit the enter key.
Jack	Finished. The spider is for sale.
Jill	Good. You take the broom.
	Jill handed the broom to Jack and then she ran upstairs.
Jack	Okay, big guy. Now we're going to find out what you're worth.
	The spider ran back and forth and Jack used the broom to keep it away from the computer.
Jack	No, no, no. I don't want any bugs in my computer. Especially big, humongous bugs like you.
	Jill came down the stairs with a shotgun. She pointed the gun at the spider and the spider ran off into the corner to get away from her. The spider was shaking.
Jill	I'm going to blow that bug to bits.
Jack	NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
	Jack grabbed the shotgun and they both wrestled over the gun.
Jill	Let go of the gun, you idiot.
	The computer screen refreshed.
Jack	We have an bid.
Jill	How much?
Jack	Let's see.
	They sidled over to the computer screen to look.
Jill	Wow, that's a lot of money, but who the heck would want to buy a giant spider?
	DING DONG. The doorbell rang. Jill let go of the gun and answered the door. She should have looked through the peep hole first. She opened the door and saw the biggest spider she had ever seen in her life. It is even bigger than the other giant spider. This spider was as big as a car. Jill screamed and ran upstairs. Jack went to the door.
Jack	Oh, hi. This must be yours.
	The little giant spider ran across the living room and out the door into the arms of the big giant spider. The big giant spider handed some money to Jack.
Jack	Thank you. Feel free to drop by any time.
	Jill came down the stairs with an even bigger gun. The spiders left and Jill did not fire her gun.
	THE END